I get to see every type of person, personality, and dysfunctional personality in my day to day life, as many who deal with people on a personal level get to do. One of the things I’ve noticed are some pretty lame excuses most people come up with for not exercising. Here are a few of my favorites that I’ve heard over the years:
#1: No Time – but they can recite the entire script from last night’s Big Brother and tell me about all the time they spent doing…..absolutely nothing last weekend. EXCUSE GRADE = FAIL
#2: No Energy: No one goes to their work because they HAVE money, they go to GET money. Exercise is the same, it gives you more energy than it takes. If you’re tired and haven’t worked out in a week or two, get your butt to the gym!! EXCUSE GRADE = FAIL
#3: I can’t afford it – This is commonly said by the person who buys a pack or two of smokes a day, or who has two or three expensive lattes, eats out daily, and has a ragin DVD or Blue Ray collection at home that they only watch once each. Not to forget about my homies in the projects, but let’s say you literally can’t “afford” a gym membership. Walking doesn’t cost anything. Neither does playing basketball, street hockey, doing push ups, crunches, or any combination of body weight exercises that need no fancy equipment or perky and hot trainers telling you to give them “one more, bro!!! It’s all you!!!” EXCUSE GRADE = MASSIVE FAIL
#4: I have cancer – Seriously? It didn’t work for Lance Armstrong, and it won’t work for you. There’s a growing body of research showing that the more you work out before, during and after treatment, the better you’ll be able to handle treatment, have limited side effects, and have a better prognosis for full recovery afterwards. The whole “I could die” thing is so played out. Suck it up, hit the weights, and show those damned tumors whose boss, and that you’re not gonna take any of their punk-ass metastasis anymore!! EXCUSE GRADE = EPIC FAIL
#5: I keep getting injured — Then you’re doing the same thing incorrectly all the time. If you do the same thing and expect different results, it’s a sign of either stupidity or insanity. Find out what you’re doing that’s incorrect, get it fixed, and move on, or else change what you’re doing to work around whatever your injury is, and keep going. EXCUSE GRADE = SHORT-BUS FAIL
#6: It doesn’t work for me – So you’re The One the prophecies foretold!!! They said that The One would descend down to earth from the heavens, and the laws of human physiology wouldn’t apply to them because they were not mortal like the rest of us. Oh wait, no, sorry, that’s not you. Sorry about that. My mistake.
Seriously, I heard someone tell me this!!! Exercise apparently didn’t work for them!!!! If it’s not working, it may be because of a lack of a few things: frequency of workouts, time spent working out, intensity of said workouts, and a nutrition plan that consists of more Tim Hortons donuts than fruit and vegetables. You’re no different, junior. Now knuckle up and get to work. EXCUSE GRADE = DELUSIONAL FAIL
I said I don’t like to sweat
………………………..(intense rage growing internally)………………………
How can someone say they don’t like to sweat?? That’s like saying you don’t like to poop, so you’re just not going to do it anymore, and avoid any and all situations that may cause you to poop. Sweat happens, and it means you’re actually doing something with your life. Remember when your dad said you had to make something of yourself, and that you were a huge failure in his eyes, and that he was going to disown you? He meant to say that since you never lift anything heavier than a remote control and that since you get winded walking to the fridge that you were not so much the light in his eyes but more of a burden on the state. Health care is expensive kids, and the only way we can make it less expensive is to build up some “sweat equity.”
EXCUSE GRADE = MIND-NUMBINGLY ANGRY FAIL
So as you can see, people will come up with a bundle of recidulous excuses (cancer. Seriously….) to not exercise. When we ask what may be stopping us, we also need to ask what may be making us want to or have to exercise, and then simply do and git er done!!!