I haven’t eaten that much since….well, since the last time I ate that much!!
Christmas eve dinner was at Lindsay’s sister and her “fake husband’s” place (fake husband is actually an endearing term. Don’t ask). They had some family members over, not a big gathering, but for some reason they decided it would be a good idea to have a 31 POUND TURKEY for dinner!!!!
So now the question becomes, for those of you who are somewhat health conscious, what should be done about those nights (or weeks) where you stuff yourself fuller than the Christmas goose, so to speak? Well, here’s an easy and convenient “flushing” program to help get you back to normal, and is easy on your digestive track too.
Step One: Drink some water
With all the carbs and salt and other fun things you’ve just pounded back, your body is going to be holding on to some extra fuels that it normally wouldn’t have. For each gram of sugar or simple carbs stored in your body, it needs to grab on to 3 grams of water in order to make it soluble and mobile. Without that water, it stays in solution rather than suspension, and is less likely to be excreted next time you have to go potty. On top of that, for each gram of sodium your body has in it, it needs 5 grams of water to make it soluble, meaning hello bloat city!!
So, by drinking some extra water then night of the big feast, you’ll help to solubize more of the stored food stuff and make it less likely to be stored, plus you’ll fast-track it to being excreted, which means less time feeling like crap and more time feelin fine.
Step Two: Get Some Sleep
The tryptophan in the turkey isn’t really what makes you sleepy, its the sensation of being completely full, and of the increased thermic effect of feeding being kicked into hyperdrive because you couldn’t shut yer yap once the cranberry sauce made it’s rounds. So give in!! Take a siesta, have a snooze, and wake up feeling as rested as you could from all the tossing and turning as the gravy made its way through your colon. By laying horizontally, it means all that stuff doesn’t have to fight against gravity to move up and across your colon, making it easier to push when the time is right. Know what I mean??
Step Three: Hit the Gym
Now I know there’s not a lot of trainers out there who are in favor of steady-state cardio, but this is one of the few times where it’s acceptable. Trust me, running intervals or hills or doing heavy-hard circuits or going for a PR in deadlifts is probably not going to happen. Ever tried to do a hard workout with a full stomach?? Not that fun. If you’re trying to do crazy shit today, you’re going to wind up puking, and you’ll feel like a wimp about it, whining like “oh my god, this workout is so lame, and it’s kicking my ass!! I’m like an Olsen twin or something!! Why did I have to be born??” Maybe that’s just me. At least I’m not these guys, although they do pretty much rock in every way possible.
Keep it simple: Steady state cardio that gets you sweating but doesn’t completely kick your ass, lots and LOTS of water while you workout, and some good deep stretching, foam rolling and active mobilization afterwards. Easy Peezy, lemon squeezy, no?
Step Four: Eat a freakin Veggie for Cryin Out Loud!!!
That doesn’t mean soaked in gravy, or counting the celery in the stuffing as a portion. It means chopping up a tomato, a green pepper, some broccoli or some carrots, cooking them in something other than butter, and then eating them without a side of cheese cake. That was yesterday, not today. To give you an idea, yesterday for breakfast I had a bowl of granola and plain yogurt with a teaspoon of cinnamon, for lunch I had a three-egg omelette with some diced tomatoes, sliced turkey breast and some chipotle chili powder for an added kick and a big old glass of H2O, and for dinner I had leftover turkey and veggies. Low carb, high protein, and just what the doctor ordered.
Step Five: Walk it Off
With Boxing day behind you and Boxing week in full effect, the best way to continue to burn off Christmas is to get out there and spend those gift cards. Even if you’re not planning to buy anything, hit a local stroll (like Whyte Avenue here in Edmonton) and just pound the pavement for an afternoon to keep the blood circulating. Then today you’ll be able to hit the gym with a bit more intensity than yesterday, and make up for it in a big way come January when you’re all rested up, back to normal weight, and ready to throw down some big numbers.
That’s it, that’s all. 5 easy steps to get your butt back to normal. Now time to get back in line for the big leagues!!!
For those of you who may have followed my blog for a while, you’ll know I’m kinda obsessed with being able to deadlift 405. I wanted to do it by Christmas, but it wasn’t in the cards. I wound up pulling a muscle in my right lumbosacral region on my third warmup set at 385, so I’ll give it a few more weeks to get back into it. Do I feel like shit for not hitting it? Not really, just a little antsy that I’m so close.
Last but not least, I’m polling everyone to get some feedback on what you think the title of my upcoming book should be. Click on an option below to have your say, and if you think of a different title, just write it in. I’ll announce the best at the end of the week.