Old men wearing hats are some of the worst drviers on the road. Next time you get stuck behind someone driving 60 in a 90 zone, with their left turn blinker on and merging right, odds are the dude has a hat on and watched Jesus graduate from high school.
No matter who you are, no matter if you’ve ever played a sport in your life or even shot a free throw or threw a baseball, there’s always that moment of self reflection when you ball up a piece of paper and take aim at a garbage can. You line that shit up like it’s game seven of the NBA championships, and you’ve got MJ, Kobe and Wilt the Stilt on your team, but for some god-unknown reason your ass is at the free throw line instead of theirs. It’s okay, though, because you’ve got ice water in your veins. You put the rock up, and there is ALWAYS that moment where you feel your heart literally stop beating until it hits the can. If it goes in, you strut the hell out of your strut for the rest of the day, regardless of whether you’re a garbage man or a cubicle drone jockeying a desk. And if you miss that shit? Hell, it’s because that piece of paper wasn’t regulation, or the wind took it, so you make another one and shoot again. Yeah you do, don’t deny it!! I do it too, so it’s alright.
I finished my income tax return, sent it off on the 28th, and already got my money back. So this simply means that in Vegas, I’ll have a few bucks to kick around. Nothing crazy, I’m not going to make it rain or anything like that.
However, I may go to a casino and get multiple rolls of quarters and throw them into the air. It’s what Daniel Tosh calls “making it hail,” and works best for those who like to be ballin on a budget.
It may not have the same visual impact as a wad of twenties thrown carelessly into the ay-er like you just don’t cay-er, but I’ll be able to still have a shining credit score at the end of the day. The hoes be all up on my credit, yo.
Apparently if you cross snausages with a wookie, you get a Snookie.
Anyone who’s planning to attend the NSCA Personal Trainer conference, I’d like to try to organize a group lift at the fitness centre. Shall we say, 4-ish on Sunday? If you’re down for that, leave me a comment below and we’ll get our swole on!!!