Casual Observations of the Day

Old men wearing hats are some of the worst drviers on the road. Next time you get stuck behind someone driving 60 in a 90 zone, with their left turn blinker on and merging right, odds are the dude has a hat on and watched Jesus graduate from high school.

No matter who you are, no matter if you’ve ever played a sport in your life or even shot a free throw or threw a baseball, there’s always that moment of self reflection when you ball up a piece of paper and take aim at a garbage can. You line that shit up like it’s game seven of the NBA championships, and you’ve got MJ, Kobe and Wilt the Stilt on your team, but for some god-unknown reason your ass is at the free throw line instead of theirs. It’s okay, though, because you’ve got ice water in your veins. You put the rock up, and there is ALWAYS that moment where you feel your heart literally stop beating until it hits the can. If it goes in, you strut the hell out of your strut for the rest of the day, regardless of whether you’re a garbage man or a cubicle drone jockeying a desk. And if you miss that shit? Hell, it’s because that piece of paper wasn’t regulation, or the wind took it, so you make another one and shoot again. Yeah you do, don’t deny it!! I do it too, so it’s alright.

I finished my income tax return, sent it off on the 28th, and already got my money back. So this simply means that in Vegas, I’ll have a few bucks to kick around. Nothing crazy, I’m not going to make it rain or anything like that.

However, I may go to a casino and get multiple rolls of quarters and throw them into the air. It’s what Daniel Tosh calls “making it hail,” and works best for those who like to be ballin on a budget.

It may not have the same visual impact as a wad of twenties thrown carelessly into the ay-er like you just don’t cay-er, but I’ll be able to still have a shining credit score at the end of the day. The hoes be all up on my credit, yo.

Apparently if you cross snausages with a wookie, you get a Snookie.

Whatever you did, “Oh yeah?? What are you gonna do about it??” is never something you want to say to a police officer.

Anyone who’s planning to attend the NSCA Personal Trainer conference, I’d like to try to organize a group lift at the fitness centre. Shall we say, 4-ish on Sunday? If you’re down for that, leave me a comment below and we’ll get our swole on!!!

About deansomerset

Certified Strength & Conditioning Specialist, Post-Rehab Specialist, personal trainer and probably the coolest guy my mom knows, I try to impart a little knowledge with a sense of humor to keep people reading. I've always thought if it's something that can grab your attention, you're gonna remember it tomorrow!!
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2 Responses to Casual Observations of the Day

  1. Mike Groth says:

    Dean – good call with the “ballin on a budget” and “hoes be all up on my credit”… hilarious. I was going to get in touch with you today to find out when you’re gettin your lift on. sunday sounds good, as that allows me to get a good training session in today and rest tomorrow. Do you know which presenters you were going to check out? I definitely want to check out the following:
    – Bill Sonnemaker’s integrative approach to bootcamp design
    – Scott Moody’s Plyometric progressions for sports performance
    – Don Bahneman Small Group Training, Big Results
    – Shelby Murphys keep your clients forever
    – Todd Miller’s american culture influencing exercise trends,
    – Paul Sorace’s Resistance Training for Hypertension
    – JC Santana – spartan training

    also, I believe the day doesn’t end until 5, were you going to stay around for the whole thing?

    let me know, my number is 207 939 9432. i’ll try to get in touch with you later.

    • deansomerset says:

      Hey Mike. Bill’s a good friend of mine, so I’m definitely going to check that one out and heckle him a little 😉
      Other than that, I’ll have to double-check, but I know I want to go to Len Kravitz’s (I kinda want to call him Lenny), and Santana’s, but I’ll figure out the rest. I’ll send you a text Sunday morning for sure.

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